From 9ae993b3ab0f834e64e80a9592fefd0e911b286a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: mjfernez Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2023 00:19:43 -0400 Subject: Removed md directories and moved files That was confusing --- .../txt/textfiles.com/signs_of_insanity.txt | 98 ---------------------- 1 file changed, 98 deletions(-) delete mode 100644 .md/thoughts/txt/textfiles.com/signs_of_insanity.txt (limited to '.md/thoughts/txt/textfiles.com/signs_of_insanity.txt') diff --git a/.md/thoughts/txt/textfiles.com/signs_of_insanity.txt b/.md/thoughts/txt/textfiles.com/signs_of_insanity.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 993a0c8..0000000 --- a/.md/thoughts/txt/textfiles.com/signs_of_insanity.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,98 +0,0 @@ - The Warning Signs Of InSaNiTy - --------------------------------------- - - 1. Your friends tell you that you have been acting strange lately, and - then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer. - 2. Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that - you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from. - 3. You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom. - 4. You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends - you mail from Iowa asking why you never write. - 5. Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to - relieve yourself on it. - 6. You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of - evil dandruff spirits. - 7. You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for - setting fire to his lawn decorations. - 8. Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death. - 9. People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl. -10. Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day. -11. You laugh out loud during funerals. -12. When your doctor tells you to say ah, you yell out "RAPE! RAPE!" -13. Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you - through that scuba mask. -14. You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've - stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going - to one day seek revenge. -15. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster. -16. Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your - little illusion. -17. You collect dead windowsill flies. -18. Everytime the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its - wings!" -19. You like cats. Especially with mayo. -20. You scream "I've got a knife!" to people who try to sell you things. -21. You scream "I've got a knife!" to people at your family reunion. -22. You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island, because they - weren't rescued. -23. You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch. -24. Whenever you listen to the radio, the music sounds backwards. -25. You have a predominant fear of fabric softener. -26. You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head in the - middle of your front lawn. -27. Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name - etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons. -28. Melba toast excites you. -29. When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go into another - room to tell him, because "the napkins have ears." -30. You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you. -31. Every time you see the commercial for the Hair Club For Men, you think - to yourself, "I think I'll kill the pope today." -32. You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog, just for - a few minutes. -33. Your main goal in life is to become the president of Bulemia. -34. Nearly everything you say involves the word, "P-toing!" -35. You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala - or to be loved by an infectious disease. -36. You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and - pretend that you're a stalk. -37. You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it. -38. You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough) -39. People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a - violation of your rights as a boysenberry. -40. You like reading lists like this. :) (The Paul Richter - Special Edition Appendix) -41. You sit in your room for hours on end listening to Peter, Paul & Mary - and playing solitaire on your computer. -42. You experience periods of time when your mouth can do nothing but sing - "Mama's little baby loves short'nin', short'nin...." -43. You begin to start almost every conversation with the introduction to - _The A-Team_ theme song. -44. You spend three hours sitting on the floor cutting and pasting a - project for your COLLEGE English course, and you get - really frustrated because you can't recall - all the kindergarten-period skills that it requires. -45. You check your e-mail about six times a day, only to find that nobody - cares enough to send anything to you. -46. You believe that Quayle would actually win the 1996 - presidentialelection. -47. You read Anne Sexton's poetry for twelve out of any sixteen-hour - period. -48. You read Sylvia Plath to cheer yourself up, and when that doesn't work - you pop _The Wall_ into the stereo... -49. You think Popeye's anchor tattoo would look even better on YOUR - forearm. -50. You use Speed Stick Clear Ocean Surf Deodorant for the scent. -51. You start appending a list like this, and you find yourself just going - on and on and on and on... -52. You start to repeat yourself. -53. You start to repeat yourself. -54. You start really stretching for bad jokes and cheap laughs. -55. You recognize that you are doing so. -56. You blatantly announce it. -57. You keep looking in the Rap section at Tower Records trying to find - that new M.C. Escher album. -58. Your greatest accomplishment to date in your college career is your - new-found ability to blow smoke rings. -59. You resort to mass e-mailings as your sole means of unabashedly begging - for attention. -- cgit v1.2.3